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Many of us want to live a balanced life with our lifestyle, career, and motherhood. However, getting to that ideal life can sometimes be difficult for many of us as women. We oftentimes even become resentful of others on social media if we see them thriving in their lives.
However, there’s absolutely no reason to want someone else’s lifestyle when you’re the person in control of your own destiny. You are the one who knows yourself best and knows what lifestyle you want for yourself.
“But how do I get there?” you may be asking yourself daily. Well, I’m here to shed important light on this topic that has become a passion of mine to actually help women to see beyond their crazy, dysfunctional lives and to look for a more balanced well-lived life that is actually needed for a better mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
So here are the ways to identify whether or not you’re living a balanced life and how you can move into one if that’s not your scenario.
Are you also struggling to find the peace and balance that you need in your life, or do you have suggestions on how to live a balanced life? Please feel free to add to my list, or ask your questions or concerns below. I would be happy to help you!
“Balance is the only way to remove yourself from the dysfunctional path of life into living a more purposeful one.”
This is the number one sign that you may need to re-examine your life and your priorities. Dysfunction is an indicator that your life is out of balance and if possible on a very destructive path if not taken into consideration.
If you are currently going through the emotions of frustration, tiredness, lack of motivation, and even just burnout, then you are not living a life that is more beneficial for you.
In fact, the more stressful and out of balance your life becomes, the more likely that you will suffer from comorbid diseases and things like anxiety and depression.
Many times people may be silently suffering from these diseases but are not aware that it’s due to life being lived out of balance.
If you are constantly just sad, going through the motions, and feeling like you’re unfulfilled, then take an inventory of what’s happening in your life and shed a light on the problem. When you do, it allows you to become more in tune with yourself and the desires of your heart for your life.
Refocus your life
If you have identified that your life is dysfunctional and that you’re struggling with finding your best scenario, then the next step to take is to think about ways in which you can refocus on the important things about life and push back on the things that are more stressful and can also be toxic. For example, most women will talk about trying to balance work and kids.
Hello, if you haven’t realized yet that they are two full-time jobs then you may just be in that 1% group who doesn’t think so. The responsibilities of childcare along with our careers can be somewhat really stressful and overbearing if not balanced out completely.
Many of you might say that you don’t want to give up a career to become a stay-at-home mom or whatever your concern may be initially. But it’s never about trading one for the other and vice versa. You can do both as long as it’s bringing you into balance.
That would mean that at the end of the day when you decide to do both, are you at peace with the life you created for yourself? If not then there is always room for re-adjustments and improvements.
Refocus allows you to think honestly about your current life and ask yourself whether it’s balanced enough for you. Are you thriving with both responsibilities of motherhood and your career? Are you at peace with what you’re currently doing in both phases of life? These are important questions to ask and to also identify ways in which you can bring your life back into balance.
For instance, you may be juggling work requirements while also trying to get kids off to daycare on a regular basis, then having to leave work on time to get kids from daycare, then after daycare, another shift begins of tending to cooking meals, bathing kids, and bedtime routine.
Now I know this is a huge struggle for women to think that it’s normal to go through that cycle nonstop and not at some point feel completely burnout, unmotivated, and not wanting to get out of bed each day. Life also becomes mundane and you become undone.
Now I have been in both worlds, to be able to speak to you about a dysfunctional life compared to a balanced one. Now every season of life is going to be different.
At one stage you may be in the newborn phase, then the toddler phase then into the school age, and so forth. Depending on what stage of life with kids that you’re at, there will also need to be some adjustments. Not taking into consideration these adjustments is what cause many of us to completely burn out.
Many of us like to think that juggling both makes you become a “supermom”! However, you can only feel like a “supermom” if you’re not battling with frustration depression, and burnout. If you’re struggling with that, then you have to stop what you’re doing and take a good inventory of your life. You’re out of balance and should you continue, there is something that will give, eventually.
What is your priority in life?
What is your priority in life? Are you actually doing what you believe is your best life and also helps you to achieve your goals? I strongly believe that we can find balance in our everyday lives if we make that a priority. In other words, we will fight for what is beneficial for us.
So if a more balanced life is a top priority for you, then why not seek that out no matter what. Most times many of us are aware of what will make things better or easier for us, however, we fear what we want most for our lives.
We want joy, peace, stability, and everything in between. In fact, we look at these model lives on social media anyway! We follow the women who seem to be living this fabulous life with their families and also doing everything in between. She looks happy and all her kids are just beaming with joy.
Yes, I have seen them myself. If that’s however the life that you want for yourself, then why settle for less than the best and then build resentment for people who have actually taken the plunge to live outside the box that society traps many of us into thinking that we are “superhumans” and can juggle everything all at once.
I like to compare the lives of women now to the lives of women in the past and I see a particular trend that I don’t think many of us realize today.
My grandmother was a homemaker, but she also had a career with my grandad as a shopkeeper. She was able to tend to her childcare duties (they had seven kids!), while also helping my grandad with their shop. She spoke peacefully about her life and the balance that she had with both her career and motherhood. She never sacrificed one for the other and both worked perfectly for her in balance and unison.
My mother, on the other hand, moved into the era of full-time working moms. She wanted to have a career and also raise children. However, her career at an insurance agency at the time did not enable her to juggle both worlds completely and she ended up leaving that field to become a teacher, which enabled her to be able to have her career while we were in school and then be home with us in the afternoons when school was out. We were also a middle-income family that was able to afford live-in workers that prepared our meals, kept our house clean, and washed our clothes.
Now fast forward to my generation of women and we are now supposed to be “superwomen”. What happened? I am a middle-income person and I in no way can afford a live-in worker to care for my home. Yet I’m supposed to model generations of women years ago!
It’s not realistic and we like to put so much pressure on ourselves as women. Many of these women also had a tribe, a community to lean on to help them out. However, in this society, it’s completely different. We can’t afford these things but yet we want to take on so much and not think that we will eventually burn out. This leads me to my next point.
Be Realistic about your life
If you have decided to give yourself the title of “superwoman” then I don’t know what else to tell you. I would love to meet a woman who doesn’t struggle with everything that is required of her and is walking around happy-go-lucky. In fact when you do come across one of those “superwomen”, please introduce me to them.
Until then, please be realistic about your life, your family, and your work obligations. If something becomes too much or too unbearable, be aware and try to find ways to reduce that stress or work-life imbalance.
The pandemic era has shifted many of us into different aspects of our lives and livelihood that can work to our benefit. Work-from-home jobs are now more readily available than ever before. Also, opportunities for entrepreneurship is just booming all over the place.
Look at your career first and foremost and find the different flexibilities that are available for you to do that may be more accommodating for having balance. Or also look at the skills that you have and if there are other careers that can accommodate your particular skillset to provide you with the balanced life that you need.
Here’s an example. The coaching industry has exploded. There is so much opportunity there for growth and development. Let’s say your career as a nurse is not so balanced in this season of your life with kids, because of the late-night shifts and just long hours. You could actually in that particular season of life do health care consulting or coaching in your particular field of interest.
The goal here is to look for ways that can help you to find the balance you need. Don’t ever settle for less than your best then walk around in frustration resentment and even bitterness toward others who have made balance a priority in their lives.
I wrote a book called, A Balanced Life: Moving From a Dysfunctional Life to a Purposeful One. I do believe that we can create the lives that we want to live for ourselves in peace and balance.
We need to make it a priority to shift our lives from what’s not working or helping us to be our best selves, to something that is more balanced and meaningful for our lives. Get a copy on Amazon.
Also for more finding balance and self-care related blog posts visit:
- Balancing Motherhood and Purpose
- A Mom In Need Of A TIME-OUT
- Benefits Of Self-care As A Mom
- Overcoming The Hurdles And Struggles Of Motherhood
- Staying fit as a mom
In addition, for more information about my personal journey of re-discovery, get a copy of my book available on Amazon: I am Who God Says I Am: Always be inspired to live the life God has planned for you. It also highlights my personal journey of transition from a dysfunctional life to a purposeful one.
Follow my Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest @mommytobeandbeyond and Twitter @mom2bandbeyond to see how life can be lived in balance.
Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below, I’d love to know what you think.
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